If not now, then when?
You’ve been saying that you want to change your life, yet you seem to be stuck in the same place as you were last week, last month, last year. Well, what’s stopping you?
How long are you going to wish for something different?
I was in that mode, always wishing for a different life. I would see these beautiful, elegant women walking through the mall, window shopping, looking at all of the clothes that I could not buy because they did not come in my size and I would wish. I would see a group of friends, happy and laughing together, having fun and I would wish. I would see a couple, holding hands, so much in love, really enjoying each other and I would wish.
“I wish I could look like that,” “I wish I had friends like that,” “I wish I could find love like that.”
I wished a lot and I wished for a different life. I looked for it, that’s for sure and I looked for it over and over, but never seemed to be able to find it. What was stopping me? The thoughts in my head were. The little words that go on in the back of your head, those negative words, those thoughts that tell you that you’re not good enough.
And where did those thoughts come from? They came from experience. All my life I was the fat kid. As a child, I was the fat kid. In school, I was constantly bullied, tormented and teased because along with a multitude of other things, I was the fat kid. In high school it was even worse to the point that before my senior year in school I couldn’t bear the thought of returning to another year of torment, so I tried to commit suicide. Took a handful of pills that were in my parent’s medicine cabinet, I don’t even remember now what they were, but I landed in the hospital having my stomach pumped and then I landed in the psychiatric ward for a while to be evaluated. I ended up not even going to the senior year in high school, but instead taking my GED and scoring the 2nd highest score in the State. That set off another set of circumstances, which I’ll write about another time.
The point I’m trying to make here is the thoughts, the way that we think about things. I was taught that my weight was my problem and even as a little kid, if I weren’t so heavy then all of the things that happened to me, wouldn’t have happened. I’d constantly hear the phrases “You’re so smart, but…” or “You’ve got such a pretty face, but…” and the “but” was always followed by “If only you weren’t so heavy.” Instead of being supported in my weight loss efforts, the thought that I wasn’t good enough was embedded in my brain. As a result, I grew up from the fat kid, into the obese teen, to the morbidly obese adult and so it went to the point where there’s no doubt in my mind that I was well over 400 lbs. I do know for a fact, when I went to sign up for one of the many many diets I was on my whole life, I stepped on a specially made scale (they didn’t make scales for people my size back then) and I was 389 lbs. Can you imagine how ashamed and embarrassed I was?
I’ve always been judged by people because of my weight. In the grocery store, that was probably the worst. People would look at this morbidly obese woman, then I’d see their eyes drift to my shopping cart and then back to me again and they’d whisper to the person that they were with, or they’d make some sort of facial expression which I just knew was judgment. Why wouldn’t it be? I learned to get into a store and get out as quickly as possible.
And, I lived my life for a long way like this, always wishing, always being judged and always feeling embarrassed and ashamed. I always felt like a failure because I couldn’t lose weight. Sure, I had small successes here and there. When I was about 10 years old, my Grandmother paid for me to go to the gym and I remember my prize for losing weight was going to be a new wardrobe. I didn’t succeed and then I lost my Grandmother. Diet after diet, I would lose a little and then gain a lot back. I thought for sure that I was destined to live in this morbidly obese body.
But, as you can see by my photographs, I am no longer than person. Before you ask, no, I did not have weight loss surgery. Some of the first assumptions people have is that I had gastric bypass or lap band surgery and no, I did not. People think that it is impossible to lose the amount of weight that I lost without weight loss surgery, but I am living proof that it is indeed possible.
I finally figured out what worked for me. After 43 years of yo-yo dieting, losing weight and then gaining it all back and then some, I finally found something that worked for me. And, you can too. You CAN lose the weight you want to lose and you CAN find yourself with a healthy body and a healthy mind. It all starts with changing the way you think. I changed my mind…changed the way that I thought about everything.
I changed the way I thought about myself and those negative, self-defeating words rolling around in my head. I changed the way that I thought about the food that I put in my body. I changed the way that I thought about physical activity and exercise. I changed the way that I thought about the other people in my life. I realized that all of those negative thoughts and negative people had to go. So, I cleaned house. And, I replaced it all with positive thought and positive people and it resulted in positive actions.
I’m not going to tell you that it was as simple as saying “Oh, I changed my mind,” but I am going to tell you that it WAS as simple as changing my mind. It took a lot of effort, it took a lot of being conscious and aware of what I was thinking and how I was reacting to things and people in my life and there were times that it was much harder to stop the negative, but I stayed focused on my goal, which was to be healthy and happy. I’d spent all my life unhealthy, unhappy and wishing.
I wish I knew then, what I know now. But then again, if I did, if one thing was different in my life, then I possibly wouldn’t be here today, to help others see that it is possible, to help others see that they can achieve their dreams and it all starts with changing the way that you think.
Drop me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org for more information on how I changed my mind and how I practiced visualization techniques to help me along the way, as well as for information on this great weight loss program that I really like. I didn’t lose my weight with this product, but I like the product, I like the convenience, I like the science behind the product and I like that it can provide a kick start to the healthy lifestyle that you are trying to achieve.