I think that we often get so used to seeing or thinking a certain way, that there comes a point where we don’t even realize that we’re doing it. I used to be stuck in a very negative mode, with negative thoughts filling my head and I was surrounded by negative people too. People who I thought were my friends, who were just using me and people who found their strength in my weaknesses. These type of people are toxic to us and it took me a very long time to realize that. I had a great therapist when I left my ex-husband back in 1997 who helped me to see that one of my biggest faults was that I expected everyone to be like I was. I just assumed that people were genuine, sincere, compassionate and giving…I was so wrong, at least where the people in my life back then were concerned.
Even after I stopped seeing her, her words remained in my head and they helped me through a very dark period, when I was in an abusive relationship and those who I thought were my friends, only brought me down even deeper. Any woman who has been in a domestic violence situation will know that the abuser always blames the victim. They will always tell their victim that it is their fault and that they made him do it. Thank goodness for that therapist, because I never ever once believed that I made him do any of the things that he did to me…it was not my fault.
I did a lot of thinking when I was in that relationship and I realized that a lot of people who had been in my life were toxic to me. I don’t even know if they realized it themselves, but they were just toxic people. Becoming aware of that is probably one of the greatest things I could have done for myself at that time.
When you think in the negative, it will reflect in your feelings and in your actions and you have a tendency to be stuck there. When you think in the positive, you feel so much better and that too reflects in your actions. Sometimes we are so used to focusing on the negative that we find it difficult to find, let alone focus on the positive.
It has to be a conscious effort and you have to practice it every moment of every day. We all have things that come at us throughout the day and we have to make choices of how we react to those things. We can react positively or negatively and if you’re stuck in that negative rut, it will automatically bring you to the negative thoughts. But, if you’re conscious and your aware of your feelings and of what is going on inside your head, you can react positively. The more you do this, the easier it will become to do it and the more it will become your habit. Being aware and conscious of that decision is key to overcoming the negative thought process and turning it into a positive mindset.
By changing the way you think, you can change so much in your life. Sometimes changing the way you think includes making hard decisions, like letting go of some of the people in your life. You must take a hard look at your relationships and see if they are bringing you up, or bringing you down. I let go of a lot of people in my life, because they were just bringing me down and when I saw it for what it truly was, I have to say that they weren’t really friends. You can find the happiness and joy that are right there in front of you, but if you’ve got people that are blocking that, then you’ve got to let go of those people.
I practice visualization and I can teach you how to do that. If you can visualize your success, then you can achieve it. Let me show you how. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and let’s start working together to find the positive in your world and create your success! I love working one on one, but am also available to speak to groups, large or small about changing your mind and how it can change your life.