Positive or negative, which do you think is better?
Sometimes we have days that seem to throw one bad thing at us after another, but it is how we react to those things can make or break our day. Yes, life throws curve balls, but we choose whether we’re going to get hit with that ball and let it knock us down, or whether we’re going to catch it and throw it back. OK, maybe that’s a corny analogy, but it’s true.
When I began my journey in 2004, I made a conscious decision to get rid of all the negativity in my life, I was surrounded and engulfed by negative people, negative thoughts, negative feelings. All of my life was negative, from childhood and well on into my adult life. As a result, it kept me trapped in a morbidly obese body, abusive relationship and surrounded by people that I thought were my friends, by they really were not. I allowed myself to be used financially, physically and emotionally all in the quest for love and acceptance and I had no self- confidence, no self-esteem, no self-worth…I lived in a figurative “dark tunnel” with no light and no end in sight.
I left all the negativity, the abusive relationship I was in, I cut off the negative friendships (and actually because of my abuser, I hadn’t seen those people in a long time anyway, because that’s one of the things an abuser does, they cut you off from your friends, family, or anyone else who might be supportive). I stopped dwelling on the negative things in my life and did my best to find the positive. There were times when the positive might have only been a fluffy cloud in the sky that looked like a dog romping, but it was something positive. Eventually, the negative took a back seat and the positive came to the forefront.
Even my step-father, who had been one of the most negative aspects in my life from the moment he came into it…well, I was even able to turn that around. No, he didn’t magically stop being a bullying ass, but I stopped letting him get to me. In fact, the more I didn’t allow his words to get to me, the more frustrated he became and the harder he tried, however, the harder he tried, the stronger I became. In the end, I was no longer intimidated by the bully that he was when I was a teenager, instead, I viewed him as a pathetic old man who needed to make others feel bad because it was the only way he could feel good. At 16 years old, the old Robbyn would have just gone into her shell, hiding from the world, but at 43 years old, I made the conscious choice that this man who had been so horrible to me and to many others would no longer get to me and it worked. Score one for Robbyn, right?
So why am I writing this….well, I believe that I’ve been given a unique opportunity to take all of the things that have happened to me in my life and turn them into something good. On Tuesday I told you that I spoke about Domestic Violence at Toastmasters and all of the kind words that I received after my speech. When I speak, I don’t speak as the voice of a victim, I am not a victim…I am a survivor, I speak from the voice of empowerment because I’m not standing up there hope to make people feel sorry for me. I stand in front of the audience and I talk about an issue so that I may empower my audience and touch even just one person.
I write here about my experiences and my point of view so that I may empower my readers and touch lives and bring awareness. Those who know me will hear me say over and over again, that if I can touch just one life then it is all worth it.
So I ask again, positive or negative? If I was going to dwell in the negative, I’d never be able to do the things that I do now and I’d never be able to make a difference in the world. I choose positive!